I woke up in the middle of the night, my body silently burning in the darkness. As sweat oozed through my pores, I remember the dream that jolted me back from the realms of sleep. As with other nights like this one, you have come to haunt me. Slowly, you slip your way into my unconscious mind – insidious and unwanted.
I burn, oh how much I burn for you! Thoughts of you are gradually chipping away my resistance. Twist and turn I go, battling with the blankets that threaten to suffocate me. If only I could give in, if only I could let you claim your victory… but at what cost?
The last time I let you in, you conquered my world completely. You plundered and pillaged the strongholds of my being until I was nothing but a slave to your desires.You called and I ran eager to please. You demanded and I gave until there was nothing left.
In the end, however, you left to fight another battle. I had nothing more that you desired.
Despite these, I have managed to rise from the ashes. Brick by painful brick, I managed to rebuild what you have so callously destroyed. Sometimes, I have even found myself happy. Some nights, I have succeeded in forgetting you.
Life goes on and we either swim with the current or drown in despair.
Tonight, however, I choose to let myself teeter at the edge of despair. You have come back, trying to claim what you call yours. Yet, I have refused you. I am not stupid. I have not forgotten your faults. Yet this body, this traitorous body, wants its missing part back. It wants the heart that you had undeservedly stolen away.
Will you give it back and leave me be?
You see, you have shown me the beauty of the world with your kisses. Together, we soared so high, my lungs pained in its effort to breathe in oxygen. With your touch, you left me with a fever with no cure. Now, the fever has returned ever stronger and as much as I want to fight you, rail at you, I seek the relief that you alone can promise.
Shall I give in? Shall I let you conquer my fortress once more? Shall I take a chance at happiness, no matter how momentary?
Oh,I burn, I burn! The night offers me no answers yet I live for the hope that daylight will bring me peace.
- Dress from my grandma’s closet which I reworked to make it more up-to-date
- Shoes from Parisian
- Necklace and Bracelet from SM Accessories
- Earrings from my Aunty
- Belt from SM Department Store
I know, this post doesn’t make a lot of sense yet sometimes, I am overtaken by the need to just write whatever comes to mind. At this hour (around 3AM), these thoughts have flowed through my mind. No, these are not a reflection of what’s happening in my life (except maybe for the fact that it’s terribly hot here in the Philippines) but merely late night ramblings of an alter ego, perhaps. 🙂
Also, I’m in love with this peachy color at the moment. It’s so refreshing and light – perfect for Spring / Summer 🙂
Hope you enjoyed! 🙂
P.S. I apologize in advance for typos. I am too tired to reread this post and correct any lapses in my mind, eye, and hand coordination. Maybe tomorrow 🙂